Every year for about five years now, we gang up for a yearend dinner and then read aloud to everyone the yearend report that we have written.
No. It is not something about audit or financial stuff.
Its just a way of putting in a nutshell the important stuff of your year that has passed.
For 2009, I have decided to blog it and then share it on my fb account for my friends to see. Paperless and environmental-friendly. Haha.
Death. 2009 has shown me again that death is inevitable. An aunt and an uncle on my father side. My dog. The plants I got from a special someone. A celebrity mom I came across with. A legend. An angel. A funny girl. A great leader. They have all been called by the One who has created us all. Hard to imagine living life without them but like I have been told too many times, death is a great equilibrium. Everyone goes through it in time. It happens to the rich and famous. The pain it may bring varies and felt so terribly that it becomes a humbling experience. And then we all have to move on from it...for us who still haven't been called by Him.
Family. 2009 is considered a blessed year in my family. My dad was able to go on vacation and spend time with us. Both of my parents remain healthy. My siblings in their familial upswing. My relationship with them wasn't strained this year. I hope it continues that way. Closer to my nieces. Fun times with the relatives from time to time. Family reunions well attended. Blessings were shared to everyone. Though I miss Tatay this year on the reunion, I'm sure he is in a better place now. Still get teary-eyed not seeing him around from time to time. Funny how I am attached to him in some ways. While not everything is rosy on the familial bonds, they are still good if you look at it a bigger perspective. I just hope that in 2010 Nanay will be healthier and less depressed and that she lessens the grudges with some of her favorites. I would wish for good health and happiness for everyone in my family...along with the extended families.
Career. I had an interesting twist this year on my career. Twas the first time I got a high rating and I have accomplished much for the team. I did feel deserving of the "High Performance. Delivered." tagline. Worked hard and even managed to put my chargeability rate to 120. It was on the upswing I guess, and I'm thankful to the Lord for giving me the strength, courage and knowledge to have done them all wonderfully. Made me realize other things as well. That work is not permanent. Sometimes you have it. Sometimes you dont. Take really good care of it. Learn from it and then prove your worth. And save, not only the money it brings to your fold, but also the experiences that goes with it. Someday, it will be useful, one way or another. For 2010, I wish to be able to deliver more and perform better from my last year's feedback.
Love. I wanted to skip this part of my report, but then I had to be brave enough to write down the lessons I have learned. Simply put, love will come, love will show you the beauty of everyhing in this world, love will let you experience all the tremendous pains as well. Then love may leave. Momentarily. Or permanently. And then love may choose to remain, but only in your heart. I have lost him this year. I have no regrets about it because I share his sentiments that we both have to let go. The next line of battle to maintain that love is not feasible for me and so I indeed have to let go. To that one I have dreamt of having for the rest of my life, Thank you. Everything remains in my heart. The concern will stay, perhaps forever, but I am ready to face that forever alone but not lonely. I have told you one too many times that I will always love you. I still think I will, but life has to go on. I'm happy that we have both moved on.
-To everyone else who have lost the battle this year, never ever fear being alone.
Friends. I am forever thankful that my friends remained with me throughout this year. I have gained some new friends during the last quarter of this year and they are proving to be trustworthy like the rest of them. MY kumares remain solid with me. The PEX people are still fun to be with, and while some of them are too irritating at times, I love them in my own way. My yahoo friends still keep me updated. The Maricelian friends. The project members have grown to be friendly towards each other. Special shoutout to those friends outside the country and those college friends who never forget to get intouch and reconnect. To jamie, roniel and irving and ralf who still tries to enjoy a minute or two with me. To all my ates, in and outside of facebook, special mention to my girls...ags, mye, liezle, jing, rocky, miss deng, catz and those I rarely see, maan and arie. Last but not the least are my inner circle. The circle I have coffee with every week. The baguio gang. The bekis. Be it in gembangs or std, you all proved to be worthy of my time and some effort. Its sad that one of us has migrated somewhere but wherever our destiny bring us, we will always always be together in hearts. Love you all guys.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Friday, 27 November 2009
Its not a ride in the park.
It was the usual weekly project meeting when I got into the room.
They were all discussing the metrics for the past week, the working targets and some project updates.
Didn't think there would be something out of the ordinary until it was almost 6pm.
Two of the team members rushed in and they halted Lala from leaving.
Suddenly a powerpoint presentation was infront of everyone.
Cheesy? Not really.
It was just a collection of old pics of Lala with the team played along a background song that I do not know what is but its catchy.
After the 10-minute presentation, someone asked Lala what she feels now that she is rolling off, and it was her last day.
She couldn't speak because she is now crying. After four attempts to utter some words, she said, "I feel happy and sad."
And another question was asked, "How was it working with the team?"
With a smile, she said, "Well..it is not a ride in the park."
Very true.
Alongside her powerpoint presentation, I was doing some flashbacks of my own.
I rolled into the team last year, and some sixteen months later, I somehow believed every inch of that "not a ride in the park"...
Of how many times I got sacked because of some client issues. Or how many times I had to attend a conference call with a counterpart who couldn't help save my ass.
But Lala was also right in saying that the team has improved alot and that she is happy to leave the team now that it has gone better and with more interaction from the subteams.
On her last few messages, I smiled mainly because I realized that the only thing permanent inside the company is change, and with the quick turn of events, who knows who would roll off next.
But I am also glad that I was able to work with Lala. Her managerial style is a mixture of fun and pressure and concerns that you sometimes do not see but would later on realize that it is there.
I couldn't really call her my mentor even if she was assigned as my mentor and also my manager. For me, mentoring would have to be more than just a couple of meetings.
Yet, she will always be an inspiration because I saw in her the determination. The will to always deliver to the client's expectation even if sometimes she had to be so hard to her subordinates.
While at some point, working with her is not a ride in the park, in all other points it was a stroll.
They were all discussing the metrics for the past week, the working targets and some project updates.
Didn't think there would be something out of the ordinary until it was almost 6pm.
Two of the team members rushed in and they halted Lala from leaving.
Suddenly a powerpoint presentation was infront of everyone.
Cheesy? Not really.
It was just a collection of old pics of Lala with the team played along a background song that I do not know what is but its catchy.
After the 10-minute presentation, someone asked Lala what she feels now that she is rolling off, and it was her last day.
She couldn't speak because she is now crying. After four attempts to utter some words, she said, "I feel happy and sad."
And another question was asked, "How was it working with the team?"
With a smile, she said, "Well..it is not a ride in the park."
Very true.
Alongside her powerpoint presentation, I was doing some flashbacks of my own.
I rolled into the team last year, and some sixteen months later, I somehow believed every inch of that "not a ride in the park"...
Of how many times I got sacked because of some client issues. Or how many times I had to attend a conference call with a counterpart who couldn't help save my ass.
But Lala was also right in saying that the team has improved alot and that she is happy to leave the team now that it has gone better and with more interaction from the subteams.
On her last few messages, I smiled mainly because I realized that the only thing permanent inside the company is change, and with the quick turn of events, who knows who would roll off next.
But I am also glad that I was able to work with Lala. Her managerial style is a mixture of fun and pressure and concerns that you sometimes do not see but would later on realize that it is there.
I couldn't really call her my mentor even if she was assigned as my mentor and also my manager. For me, mentoring would have to be more than just a couple of meetings.
Yet, she will always be an inspiration because I saw in her the determination. The will to always deliver to the client's expectation even if sometimes she had to be so hard to her subordinates.
While at some point, working with her is not a ride in the park, in all other points it was a stroll.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
so proud of you...
i read your blog entry last 14th and before i could finish the last sentence i'm already crying.
been a while that i think of your plight there...you must know that i tried to stop meddling in your activities there eversince we have decided to call it quits.
never been easy trying to live my life without you..much more without the thoughts of you...but i don't have much choice on that.
your last blog entry hit me again...i felt how hard it has become for you...but im doubly proud that you are alive and kicking there after one year.
i wish i could alleviate some pains and make you smile even for a while so that you'd be able to forget how hard it is there but maybe i'll just keep on praying so that you'll stay safe and healthy...and will thank the Lord that you are doing a wonderful job there for your dreams and your family.
some of our common friends teased me lately coz you're almost vacationing...i gave a fake smile and my signature roll-eyes...said i'm never gonna be able to meet you again without the tears..and i think its gonna be hard hiding these tears as well...but not to worry..the tears aren't just for the pain...its also because i'm so damn proud of you.
keep it up tavz...i'll always be proud of you.
been a while that i think of your plight there...you must know that i tried to stop meddling in your activities there eversince we have decided to call it quits.
never been easy trying to live my life without you..much more without the thoughts of you...but i don't have much choice on that.
your last blog entry hit me again...i felt how hard it has become for you...but im doubly proud that you are alive and kicking there after one year.
i wish i could alleviate some pains and make you smile even for a while so that you'd be able to forget how hard it is there but maybe i'll just keep on praying so that you'll stay safe and healthy...and will thank the Lord that you are doing a wonderful job there for your dreams and your family.
some of our common friends teased me lately coz you're almost vacationing...i gave a fake smile and my signature roll-eyes...said i'm never gonna be able to meet you again without the tears..and i think its gonna be hard hiding these tears as well...but not to worry..the tears aren't just for the pain...its also because i'm so damn proud of you.
keep it up tavz...i'll always be proud of you.
Sunday, 1 November 2009
Metrics...anyone?
I got entangled to a metrics battle this morning...err..afternoon.
The team lead was trying to point out that the defect field on the template is supposed to be used on all the stages of the software lifecycle.
The quality coordinator thinks otherwise as it has no use for metrics tracking of the entire team.
Which is which?
Hmm.
From what I do know...the defect field on the template is supposed to track at which phase of the lifecycle you have seen the defect as against to the origin of the defect to compute for the actual quality of work.
Stressful thinking isn't it?
Hmm...how about doing this every week?
The team lead was trying to point out that the defect field on the template is supposed to be used on all the stages of the software lifecycle.
The quality coordinator thinks otherwise as it has no use for metrics tracking of the entire team.
Which is which?
Hmm.
From what I do know...the defect field on the template is supposed to track at which phase of the lifecycle you have seen the defect as against to the origin of the defect to compute for the actual quality of work.
Stressful thinking isn't it?
Hmm...how about doing this every week?
Monday, 26 October 2009
Revisiting Lucban
It was a month ago when Jing brought the whole gang to Lucban Quezon for a long-weekend trip.
Last weekend, we drove back again to celebrate Vonne's birthday.
This time, we didn't have much time to revisit Majayjay Falls but fortunately, we were able to drive to Tayabas to see the church and enjoy what is probably the best cassava cake for 25 pesos only.
Then, we take a short drive to Villa Elma which is one of the biggest hacienda in town and only friends of the Elma family can see the wonders that is inside the farm.
What is noticeable is the landscape on the farm. It has its own station of the cross just like Kamay ni Hesus except for the huge Resurrection statue in the latter. It also includes three or four swimming pools and cold springs around it plus a status of Cory Aquino near the altar and a gazeebo that rests below the mountain side. To top it all, there is an auditorium filled with antiques and about four or five sculptures from Habagat at Amihan to the fishes and the face of Jesus.
The trip would not be complete without enjoying Palaisdaan food again and Kamay ni Hesus visit and lastly, Salud's Halo Halo which remains to be better than Chowking or Sandosenang Halo or Razon's at 35 pesos only.
As of this writing...i'm missing Lucban again...but its okay...Vonne's mom promised that we can go back before Christmas...even without Jing's approval. Hehehe
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Foodtrip in Lucban
If you search for information regarding Lucban, Quezon, the first few information that you will get will be about the Pahiyas festival that usually happens in May. This festival is a harvest festival wherein all houses are dressed up with the family's farm harvest.
In my recent trip to Lucban last month, I realized that Lucban is not just famous for the harvest but also for the delicious food that they serve.
Amongst the variety that we enjoyed in our three-day weekend were Sinugno; Ginataang Kuhol na may pako; Sizzling chicken; empanadita and Lucban's famous halo-halo of Salud.
Sinugno is Inahaw na tilapia with gata. Rather easy to prepare at home but so tasty to feast on. Try making it a bit more spicy and you would enjoy it more.
Ginataang kuhol was surprisingly sweet and fun. You get to slurrp the kuhol out of the shell. Quite fun if you ask me.
Sizzling chicken could have been the usual meal you order in sizzling plate, but what made it diffrent in Palaisdaan is the sauce. It tastes quite special.
Empanadita and Salud's Halo-Halo were not part of our Palaisdaan dinner. The halo-halo came after dinner and we had to drive back to bayan to get a taste of it.
Salud's was few blocks from Lucban church and it was rather an old house. They serve halo-halo and mais con hielo and costs about 35 pesos only.
The halo halo does not boast of a special kind of ice like Razon's or the commercial fantasy that Chowking's and Sandosenang Halo offers, but it was probably one of the best that I have tasted since my very first halo halo experience in Tondo. Just look at the mouth watering colors of the blend and the sweetness that is blended perfectly to ask for another round. I wish that they have Salud's in Manila so that I can enjoy it anytime I want.
Lastly, the empanadita came quite a surprise. There was this modest food court outside Lucban church were you could enjoy most kind of street food from bananaque to isaw to hotdogs. Empanadita looked cute for its 2.50/pc and I just had to try it. What was interesting was that it did not have meet or chicken inside like the usuals you get from goldilocks...rather it had sweet kamote inside. Delicious and cheap and rather light for the stomach. The gang bought 250 pieces of it and became the pasalubong.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Just hang on there my friend...
Today is one of the saddest days ever.
My friend was diagnosed with a spleen cancer.
I didn't even know what a spleen is and what part of our body it is locate...but right now I am browsing google to find more answers as to what a spleen is and what are the types of spleen cancer.
In this age where cancer is one of the more notorious killers, it is doubly hard getting news like this, especially if its coming from a very dear friend.
So many things going on my mind right now...and yet I know and I feel that my friend is gonna fight this disease and hopefully wins over it.
But more than anything else...sadness still envelops me hearing the news. I don't even know yet how to react to this or how to keep this bit of information to myself till the day he decides to tell everyone in our group.
Still I pray...that the Lord will be more merciful to him and delivers him from this disease.
My friend was diagnosed with a spleen cancer.
I didn't even know what a spleen is and what part of our body it is locate...but right now I am browsing google to find more answers as to what a spleen is and what are the types of spleen cancer.
In this age where cancer is one of the more notorious killers, it is doubly hard getting news like this, especially if its coming from a very dear friend.
So many things going on my mind right now...and yet I know and I feel that my friend is gonna fight this disease and hopefully wins over it.
But more than anything else...sadness still envelops me hearing the news. I don't even know yet how to react to this or how to keep this bit of information to myself till the day he decides to tell everyone in our group.
Still I pray...that the Lord will be more merciful to him and delivers him from this disease.
Sunday, 6 September 2009
some thoughts from the alternative world...
I looked into my other circle today and got some interesting notes on the alternatives...
read on..
Quote:Originally Posted by bboycrumbs84
Making a choice to come out about your sexuality is a healthy part of affirming your choice and your worth as a human being. By discussing what it does and does not mean to be who you are sexually, you may also help to educate others and even to empower some individuals to accept their own sexuality and realizing that is good to discover sexuality in all ways.
my thoughts:
its always hard to come out to your friends and family and tell them what you really are underneath that clothes or that facade.
that is never easy because there might be rejections and then the stigma happens all over again as if it hasn't been working through the most parts of your life.
but in this age, i think more people are open to it...open to the accepting sexuality and the differences that friends bring into the circle...and its good because you somehow feel that the society gets more humane into accepting whatever differences it brings on the daily fold.
to those who come out in the open...congratulations...coming out is not just really putting a label to what you know you are...but moreso, getting the real freedom of life that one truly deserve.
to those who cannot come out...its their choice to live in the closet..and for whatever reason they have...i'd always give them that choice to make...afterall..it is their life to live.
happy independence guys..
Quote:Originally Posted by bboycrumbs84
It is nice to be with people who are very open minded.
my thoughts:
There is nothing wrong to be liberated in making decisions in life especially the so called "sexuality" but its just that we need to keep our values within us.
somehow ur values would be changing when you come out in the open...you widen your horizon and then take new things into consideration.
the principles that you have actually built when you were in the closet would still be applicable into most situations but of course you will do some bending of rules from time to time if only because you are now open to alot more possibilities that were not options for you when you are in the closet still.
Originally Posted by voltz87
and it's you, the real you, if one does is to always blindly deny the truth of his/her own sexuality then he/she wouldn't be able to enjoy a good life. this is what i told myself when i really tried hard to change my sexuality, wala eh ayaw talaga eh
my thoughts:
hmm. i've always believed naman that sexuality isn't just the private organs that you were born with.
it is also something that you feel inside you.
for instance, a byukonera would always feel that she is a girl trapped inside that body..whether he chooses to change her organs in the future when he can afford to...or not...he would always remain to be that woman inside that body.
in the past, i tried to deny myself with homosexuality and for two or three months i was successful until the fourth month...
on that fourth month, i did things i never thought i would kasi sobrang "nagutom" yata ako..haha.
but when I asked God kung bakit nga ba iba ako sa mga kapatid ko at sa mga friends ko...i didn't get a straight answer but i got acceptance little by little...from myself and from my friends and family...
to which I always think na it was God's way of showing me that I have to accept myself first and then acceptance and peace from the others would come along.
afterall...God's love really has no gender.
read on..
Quote:Originally Posted by bboycrumbs84
Making a choice to come out about your sexuality is a healthy part of affirming your choice and your worth as a human being. By discussing what it does and does not mean to be who you are sexually, you may also help to educate others and even to empower some individuals to accept their own sexuality and realizing that is good to discover sexuality in all ways.
my thoughts:
its always hard to come out to your friends and family and tell them what you really are underneath that clothes or that facade.
that is never easy because there might be rejections and then the stigma happens all over again as if it hasn't been working through the most parts of your life.
but in this age, i think more people are open to it...open to the accepting sexuality and the differences that friends bring into the circle...and its good because you somehow feel that the society gets more humane into accepting whatever differences it brings on the daily fold.
to those who come out in the open...congratulations...coming out is not just really putting a label to what you know you are...but moreso, getting the real freedom of life that one truly deserve.
to those who cannot come out...its their choice to live in the closet..and for whatever reason they have...i'd always give them that choice to make...afterall..it is their life to live.
happy independence guys..
Quote:Originally Posted by bboycrumbs84
It is nice to be with people who are very open minded.
my thoughts:
There is nothing wrong to be liberated in making decisions in life especially the so called "sexuality" but its just that we need to keep our values within us.
somehow ur values would be changing when you come out in the open...you widen your horizon and then take new things into consideration.
the principles that you have actually built when you were in the closet would still be applicable into most situations but of course you will do some bending of rules from time to time if only because you are now open to alot more possibilities that were not options for you when you are in the closet still.
Originally Posted by voltz87
and it's you, the real you, if one does is to always blindly deny the truth of his/her own sexuality then he/she wouldn't be able to enjoy a good life. this is what i told myself when i really tried hard to change my sexuality, wala eh ayaw talaga eh
my thoughts:
hmm. i've always believed naman that sexuality isn't just the private organs that you were born with.
it is also something that you feel inside you.
for instance, a byukonera would always feel that she is a girl trapped inside that body..whether he chooses to change her organs in the future when he can afford to...or not...he would always remain to be that woman inside that body.
in the past, i tried to deny myself with homosexuality and for two or three months i was successful until the fourth month...
on that fourth month, i did things i never thought i would kasi sobrang "nagutom" yata ako..haha.
but when I asked God kung bakit nga ba iba ako sa mga kapatid ko at sa mga friends ko...i didn't get a straight answer but i got acceptance little by little...from myself and from my friends and family...
to which I always think na it was God's way of showing me that I have to accept myself first and then acceptance and peace from the others would come along.
afterall...God's love really has no gender.
Friday, 4 September 2009
Loving Lucban
Last weekend I had a chance of bonding again with my girls.
From my other circles...i'd always refer to them as my girls...afterall...they really are my girls for the past 8 years or so now.
Anyways, one of my girls, Jing, invited us to spend the weekend in her ancestral home..err..in her husband's ancestral home...Lucban and it was a blast.
We were actually planning for a Bohol trip but due to some difficulties encountered with the travel agency, we decided to scrap it and take a trip nearer.
Lucban is very famous for its Pahiyas festival in May. I call it the harvest festival.
Before and after Pahiyas, Lucban is just your regular town situated in south Luzon...but wait..there is more.
The town boasts of a floating restaurant...a healing church that rivals one in Brazil...a halo halo house that gives Razon's a run-for-its-money and two-peso panadita that is so delicious you can eat outside the historical Lucban church, not to mention the grand torrino (calzone) and the twisted bacon in a local resto that is more delectable than our pizza houses in Manila.
If that still doesn't make you fly, then try to pass by Liliw to get the best deals in your footwear and get a taste of the local posh resto Arabella that tastes like Itallianis and again visit the beautiful church of Liliw in brick red.
Finally, try to stop by Majayjay falls and drench into its cystal clear and cold water and appreciate the wonder of the nature located about an hour or two from Alabang.
There's really more to Lucban than just the Pahiyas...and as Jing promised...next month we will visit the other hidden treasures of Lucban and continue loving it.
From my other circles...i'd always refer to them as my girls...afterall...they really are my girls for the past 8 years or so now.
Anyways, one of my girls, Jing, invited us to spend the weekend in her ancestral home..err..in her husband's ancestral home...Lucban and it was a blast.
We were actually planning for a Bohol trip but due to some difficulties encountered with the travel agency, we decided to scrap it and take a trip nearer.
Lucban is very famous for its Pahiyas festival in May. I call it the harvest festival.
Before and after Pahiyas, Lucban is just your regular town situated in south Luzon...but wait..there is more.
The town boasts of a floating restaurant...a healing church that rivals one in Brazil...a halo halo house that gives Razon's a run-for-its-money and two-peso panadita that is so delicious you can eat outside the historical Lucban church, not to mention the grand torrino (calzone) and the twisted bacon in a local resto that is more delectable than our pizza houses in Manila.
If that still doesn't make you fly, then try to pass by Liliw to get the best deals in your footwear and get a taste of the local posh resto Arabella that tastes like Itallianis and again visit the beautiful church of Liliw in brick red.
Finally, try to stop by Majayjay falls and drench into its cystal clear and cold water and appreciate the wonder of the nature located about an hour or two from Alabang.
There's really more to Lucban than just the Pahiyas...and as Jing promised...next month we will visit the other hidden treasures of Lucban and continue loving it.
Missing you...
friday again.
i rushed to the mall to have dinner with friends.
Mongkok seem to offer an interesting treat...problem is I remember us dining out...then some flashbacks.
i have to admit, i miss you.
remembering those fridays that I had to rush to the apartment after work just to sleep beside you and wake up with your smile...
it now becomes a never ending battle of missing you again.
..and then i realize that the only thing i can do now is to......miss you.
i rushed to the mall to have dinner with friends.
Mongkok seem to offer an interesting treat...problem is I remember us dining out...then some flashbacks.
i have to admit, i miss you.
remembering those fridays that I had to rush to the apartment after work just to sleep beside you and wake up with your smile...
it now becomes a never ending battle of missing you again.
..and then i realize that the only thing i can do now is to......miss you.
Monday, 24 August 2009
Destruction...
Last week someone asked me..."are there things that she might do that will turn you off?"
I thought for a while and then answered, "maybe...if she will do drugs..."
Ate did not answered. She told me the story.
Wasn't really gruesome. Her ascend to popularity was an open book. Everyone knows how hardworking she was. How talented she had become.
But then, only recently, someone passed away. Then it started to happen.
I can only blame the people closest to her. They gave her the substance. It had been a while.
Now she's hooked.
I asked why now? Why self-destruct now? After getting back on track? After being able to weather all the other pains of the past. After being able to stay on top?
There was no answer. I don't think there will be answers to my questions now.
This self-destruction has got to stop but I can't stop it for her...she has to do it for herself.
She has to surrender herself wholeheartedly for detox.
I started praying for her...praying that the Lord will shield her loved ones from this self-destruction...and pray that she will find the light and get back on track again.
Nothing and no one can truly destroy us in this life...only ourselves.
I thought for a while and then answered, "maybe...if she will do drugs..."
Ate did not answered. She told me the story.
Wasn't really gruesome. Her ascend to popularity was an open book. Everyone knows how hardworking she was. How talented she had become.
But then, only recently, someone passed away. Then it started to happen.
I can only blame the people closest to her. They gave her the substance. It had been a while.
Now she's hooked.
I asked why now? Why self-destruct now? After getting back on track? After being able to weather all the other pains of the past. After being able to stay on top?
There was no answer. I don't think there will be answers to my questions now.
This self-destruction has got to stop but I can't stop it for her...she has to do it for herself.
She has to surrender herself wholeheartedly for detox.
I started praying for her...praying that the Lord will shield her loved ones from this self-destruction...and pray that she will find the light and get back on track again.
Nothing and no one can truly destroy us in this life...only ourselves.
The magic 8 ball...
Of the last few weeks, break ups had been surrounding me.
Too many couples in my circles had broken up and chose solitary life.
And while there are too many dramatic mantras that plagued me...there were actually several funny sidelights to it.
One of them was this friend of mine who couldn't get over an ex of almost four months.
Ha. Ha.
One day he called the gang to join him for coffee only to find out that it was actually a call for the breakdown scene.
Geesh. I have never seen him cry with matching shoulder movements as if I'm watching one of the up-and-coming actresses of the silverscreen.
Problem is, the scene isn't really what you call cinematic.
Anyways, the breakdown scene lasted for about three hours and then the gang called it a night.
But then again, we were fooled into thinking that breakdown boy has consumed all his tears and thoughts on the breakup and would now be able to move on.
This afternoon, he went to the mall and bought the magic 8 ball.
Yes, the ball you shake to get answers like "Yes" "Definitely" "My sources say no", etc which puts the old coin toss -head for a yes vs tail for a no- decision-making process.
This time, the magic 8 ball gives so many interesting answers whenever you throw a question.
Unfortunately for the ball, our breakdown boy kept asking questions like..."are we going to get back together?"..."does he want me to surprise him on our 4th monthsarry?"...."would he be happy to see me on friday?"....and so on and so forth so help me God.
I was laughing by myself on the bus whenever I get a text update from the gang on the question and the interesting answer that the ball has given.
Question is...does he really need the magic 8 ball? when in fact, the only question that really matters are :
Does he still love him?
Does he want to see him again?
To which the only answer is NO.
Sad but true. My friend, the breakdown boy had been given the answer and yet didn't want to take the answer...resorted to a breakdown scene..tried to dry up his tears and spent money to alter the answer his ex has given him.
To think that it was only almost four months.
I wonder how many magic 8 balls will he get if their relationship went beyond the almost four months before he broke up with him.
And I'm sad for the magic 8 ball...mainly because he will be overused until such time he accepts that no matter what the magic 8 ball say...the ex's answer will always be NO.
Too many couples in my circles had broken up and chose solitary life.
And while there are too many dramatic mantras that plagued me...there were actually several funny sidelights to it.
One of them was this friend of mine who couldn't get over an ex of almost four months.
Ha. Ha.
One day he called the gang to join him for coffee only to find out that it was actually a call for the breakdown scene.
Geesh. I have never seen him cry with matching shoulder movements as if I'm watching one of the up-and-coming actresses of the silverscreen.
Problem is, the scene isn't really what you call cinematic.
Anyways, the breakdown scene lasted for about three hours and then the gang called it a night.
But then again, we were fooled into thinking that breakdown boy has consumed all his tears and thoughts on the breakup and would now be able to move on.
This afternoon, he went to the mall and bought the magic 8 ball.
Yes, the ball you shake to get answers like "Yes" "Definitely" "My sources say no", etc which puts the old coin toss -head for a yes vs tail for a no- decision-making process.
This time, the magic 8 ball gives so many interesting answers whenever you throw a question.
Unfortunately for the ball, our breakdown boy kept asking questions like..."are we going to get back together?"..."does he want me to surprise him on our 4th monthsarry?"...."would he be happy to see me on friday?"....and so on and so forth so help me God.
I was laughing by myself on the bus whenever I get a text update from the gang on the question and the interesting answer that the ball has given.
Question is...does he really need the magic 8 ball? when in fact, the only question that really matters are :
Does he still love him?
Does he want to see him again?
To which the only answer is NO.
Sad but true. My friend, the breakdown boy had been given the answer and yet didn't want to take the answer...resorted to a breakdown scene..tried to dry up his tears and spent money to alter the answer his ex has given him.
To think that it was only almost four months.
I wonder how many magic 8 balls will he get if their relationship went beyond the almost four months before he broke up with him.
And I'm sad for the magic 8 ball...mainly because he will be overused until such time he accepts that no matter what the magic 8 ball say...the ex's answer will always be NO.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
It's just sad...
every creature on earth comes and goes...must have been the general design..that the earth isn't gonna be permanent nor its inhabitants...but humans would always cling...try to hang on to something or someone to make life special and worth living.
romantic. maybe admirable. maybe cheesy..but most times...its just sad.
:)
romantic. maybe admirable. maybe cheesy..but most times...its just sad.
:)
Monday, 13 July 2009
It might have ended sooner than I thought...
Some weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me the $64 dollar question on where are these types of relationships heading...and i wasn't clear on the answers that I have given.
Last week, it dawned on me where my relationship was heading...splitsville.
The bad part, I cried buckets of tears and was in a depressed mood for about a week.
I swear, I lost some pounds...not that it was obvious.
The good part...we are still friends ( I wonder if that part is really good. haha)
But for whatever its worth, I am letting him go so that he could reach for his dreams without so much guilt and baggages in this side of the earth.
And while it ended sooner than I expected, I will forever be grateful to God for giving me two years with him and teaching me how to nurture a more mature relationship than the ones I have had in the past.
I wish the both of us goodluck! No pun intended.
;)
Last week, it dawned on me where my relationship was heading...splitsville.
The bad part, I cried buckets of tears and was in a depressed mood for about a week.
I swear, I lost some pounds...not that it was obvious.
The good part...we are still friends ( I wonder if that part is really good. haha)
But for whatever its worth, I am letting him go so that he could reach for his dreams without so much guilt and baggages in this side of the earth.
And while it ended sooner than I expected, I will forever be grateful to God for giving me two years with him and teaching me how to nurture a more mature relationship than the ones I have had in the past.
I wish the both of us goodluck! No pun intended.
;)
Sunday, 28 June 2009
where is it heading?
last night, a close friend of mine asked...
"where do these kinds of relationships heading?"
stunned, i didn't have a straight answer to him.
then it occured to me...is there a positive answer to the question at all?
i looked around, thought for a while, and said...
maybe it heads to a place where companionship is the better option rather than splitsville.
but who am i kidding?
all the couples around me had a life span of just seven years and below.
while there is one relationship i know that lasted for more than 10 years and still counting...theirs is something unconventional unlike the exclusive setups ive known.
so...i shall ask you as well...
where do you think is it heading?
"where do these kinds of relationships heading?"
stunned, i didn't have a straight answer to him.
then it occured to me...is there a positive answer to the question at all?
i looked around, thought for a while, and said...
maybe it heads to a place where companionship is the better option rather than splitsville.
but who am i kidding?
all the couples around me had a life span of just seven years and below.
while there is one relationship i know that lasted for more than 10 years and still counting...theirs is something unconventional unlike the exclusive setups ive known.
so...i shall ask you as well...
where do you think is it heading?
Sunday, 31 May 2009
For Tavs...
There was a forwarded text message that I got this morning.
It was something like "life is easy...what i meant was...life is easy when you are here around..."
Pinched me. Even made me teary-eyed.
My life is indeed easy when you were here...physically. You're still a text away but the distance...its actually killing me. Couldn't run into your smile and get recluse when I'm having a bad day. Couldn't get into your arms when I wanted to be just romantic. Couldn't wake up beside you. So many things that I couldn't do and its affecting me.
And earlier I remember those sunday mornings that I'd wake up beside you and eat all day with you.
Geesh...im crying now remembering all of them.
I'd always wish that we didn't have to work miles apart so that I can enjoy those days I'm with you.
Now...i just wish for them to happen...
It was something like "life is easy...what i meant was...life is easy when you are here around..."
Pinched me. Even made me teary-eyed.
My life is indeed easy when you were here...physically. You're still a text away but the distance...its actually killing me. Couldn't run into your smile and get recluse when I'm having a bad day. Couldn't get into your arms when I wanted to be just romantic. Couldn't wake up beside you. So many things that I couldn't do and its affecting me.
And earlier I remember those sunday mornings that I'd wake up beside you and eat all day with you.
Geesh...im crying now remembering all of them.
I'd always wish that we didn't have to work miles apart so that I can enjoy those days I'm with you.
Now...i just wish for them to happen...
Coffee nights...
Ever sat down with your friends in any of the sprouting coffee shops in the metro on a weekly basis?
I do. In fact, this coffee nights that I have with my friends on a weekly basis is probably one of the few things that strengthen our bond over the last five years.
We would usually meet up either on a saturday or on a sunday and look for the empty couches on either starbucks or coffee bean and order coffee or tea and discuss this and that brouhaha that happened the past week.
Its healthy in the sense that it allows each of us to hear what one thinks of the brouhaha and most of the time laugh about it while enjoying the ambiance and the company just before the weekend ends.
And while some of the topics that come in these coffee nights aren't always pleasant...it still remain a venue to discuss and ponder what life has brought upon the friendship.
I do. In fact, this coffee nights that I have with my friends on a weekly basis is probably one of the few things that strengthen our bond over the last five years.
We would usually meet up either on a saturday or on a sunday and look for the empty couches on either starbucks or coffee bean and order coffee or tea and discuss this and that brouhaha that happened the past week.
Its healthy in the sense that it allows each of us to hear what one thinks of the brouhaha and most of the time laugh about it while enjoying the ambiance and the company just before the weekend ends.
And while some of the topics that come in these coffee nights aren't always pleasant...it still remain a venue to discuss and ponder what life has brought upon the friendship.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Wee bit crazy...
Sorry if I have offended you with the questioning.
But I think I'm starting to feel jealous and I don't like it...I never do.
Quite strange coz I don't get jealous...secured of your love for me.
Yet this distance...its making me wee bit crazy...suddenly I am unsure of how much you still love me.
But I think I'm starting to feel jealous and I don't like it...I never do.
Quite strange coz I don't get jealous...secured of your love for me.
Yet this distance...its making me wee bit crazy...suddenly I am unsure of how much you still love me.
Friday, 22 May 2009
Do you want to write?
There was an unexpected buzz from a friend who now lives in California.
I thought there was another web of life he came across with. WTF...he is already million miles apart and we still have a webbie?
Was relieved when I learned it was not.
Our friend during our Malate days was scouting for new resource writers in his magazine. Freelance stuff. Bred.
Hmm. Can I still do it?
That would be the challenge...writing again just like trying to do this blog atleast once a day before I go to sleep.
Maybe I could do photo-journalism..or some features...
Let's see if I still have it in me.
I thought there was another web of life he came across with. WTF...he is already million miles apart and we still have a webbie?
Was relieved when I learned it was not.
Our friend during our Malate days was scouting for new resource writers in his magazine. Freelance stuff. Bred.
Hmm. Can I still do it?
That would be the challenge...writing again just like trying to do this blog atleast once a day before I go to sleep.
Maybe I could do photo-journalism..or some features...
Let's see if I still have it in me.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Metrics...anyone?
I got entangled to a metrics battle this morning...err..afternoon.
The team lead was trying to point out that the defect field on the template is supposed to be used on all the stages of the software lifecycle.
The quality coordinator thinks otherwise as it has no use for metrics tracking of the entire team.
Which is which?
Hmm.From what I do know...the defect field on the template is supposed to track at which phase of the lifecycle you have seen the defect as against to the origin of the defect to compute for the actual quality of work.
Stressful thinking isn't it?
Hmm...how about doing this every week?
The team lead was trying to point out that the defect field on the template is supposed to be used on all the stages of the software lifecycle.
The quality coordinator thinks otherwise as it has no use for metrics tracking of the entire team.
Which is which?
Hmm.From what I do know...the defect field on the template is supposed to track at which phase of the lifecycle you have seen the defect as against to the origin of the defect to compute for the actual quality of work.
Stressful thinking isn't it?
Hmm...how about doing this every week?
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Just a little of me....now
2:37 am
Something pushed me to create a blog in here.
I don't know what. Probably jealous. Been reading one blog lately and it is fascinating to be able to capture moments of your life just like a photograph or a video.
I hope that blogging becomes a hobby again. It was an artistic outlet before. A venue to express. A place to keep yakking about everything...and then priorities changed...life got faster...time got lesser.
But then again...life has its way of bringing back some few things you enjoyed in the past. :)
Something pushed me to create a blog in here.
I don't know what. Probably jealous. Been reading one blog lately and it is fascinating to be able to capture moments of your life just like a photograph or a video.
I hope that blogging becomes a hobby again. It was an artistic outlet before. A venue to express. A place to keep yakking about everything...and then priorities changed...life got faster...time got lesser.
But then again...life has its way of bringing back some few things you enjoyed in the past. :)
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