The Breakup Playlist and The Breakup

Watched the two films recently for the lack of something to do on a weekend.

Just a week apart, I tried to stick around till the end of each movie just to see if I could get something real out of it.

Both of them did not disappoint. The playlist movie talked about reconciliation after a breakup even though one of the characters uttered something about being killed emotionally. The Aniston-Vaughn movie tried to deal with their breakup the childish ways at first but eventually mustered maturity and separated to find each of themselves.

I wish I could be in any of the two films. That I could incline for a reconciliation and move forward despite "being killed" by the breakup. Or that I could just pack up my things and fly to London to get a breathe of fresh air and move on peacefully.

So help me God.

Trying to find myself

In the midst of this breakup shit that we have been going through for the past two months now, I often ask myself if this was a good decision.

Kept running it over and over in my head, asking what I should do.

Do we just stay like this? Do we need to stop texting, stop talking?

Do we need to get more space in between? Cut all of the communication?

I could be going crazy and for the most part it was because of the frustration that I have been feeling.

It would be totally unfair to say that I do not see the positive changes that you have been doing, but the crazy side of me keeps telling my head that those things aren't the things I want to see from you.

I know, totally unfair, but how do I even convince myself that you are still the right one for me, when all that I see are the differences however small they maybe - the differences that makes me really go crazy.

And now, two months after, I still do not know how to deal with this shit.

But from what I have known, it is best that I stay away from you so that I stop hurting you. That is the last thing I wanna do - to hurt you.

You have been the most supportive and the most kind - but because I am really cuckoo, I do not see that and chose to see some of the small things in between.

I'm sure in the future I will face tough consequences from this decision to go away - but that is the only thing I can think of so I won't hurt you anymore.

I'm really sorry - but maybe it is also a way of telling us that we both need to grow some more apart.

Detox anyone?

Over the last couple of months, my facebook feed were flooded by detox, the basic ingredients and how you make them. Most of them I have known through my deceased grandmother while growing up while some of them are new to me and tempting to try, and yeah with tremendous health benefits too. 

However, this post has nothing to do with the benefits and the juices, nor how to make them. Lol

On New Years Eve, had too much roast ribs, too much rootbeer, too much clam chowder and a glass of martini champagne. Can you guess what happened next?

The answer is simple. Puke! Err, excuse me if you are eating while reading this coz it maybe a bit gross, but yeah, like everyone else, our body can only take so much food before it goes crazy and unload in a gross-but-natural way. Not a fan of this form of detox but what struck me was that it was New Years Eve and there I was feeling sick after the holiday champagne cheers with friends and unloading every piece of good food that I shoved down my throat and then effifany hits.

Also like everyone else, we consume so much baggage in our daily lives. You count those daily consumption 365 times and you get toxic throughout the year. You'd be lucky if you only consume half of that toxic within a year, but no one can really measure it and then when the body is full it unloads perhaps in the most ugly way.

Why am I talking about this shit on New Year? Well, it is because it is New Years. I have to remind myself that I need to be careful in taking all this shit in my body, in my mind or in my heart, so I won't have to puke them out all at once when everyone is kissing and hugging at the strike of midnight. No one wants to kiss a mouth with vomit breath, New Years or not.

Happy puking...err Happy 2015. 

What the concrete jungle is made of...

There had been too many people who said that New York is a concrete jungle and I will not disagree on that.
Having been in Chicago for three months now, I'm used to seeing moderate crowd on the streets and a subway line that is pretty easy to understand.
So, I went to the City with all these reminders that it will be "different" out there.
And true enough, New York is far too different than the windy city, for one, the crowd on broadway street did not falter even at midnight. People kept walking on that street and they're literally from all walks of life. Heck, I have seen more than 5 limos around and a pink one at that. McDonald's had no vacant seats even at 9pm, and the Empire State Building burns so brightly even at 11pm.
Then, there is the awesome Central Park which covers more than 4 subway stations and perhaps one of the best parks designed across the world. I can still see in my mind the magnificent skyscrapers peeking on the trees of the park...one of the wonders of the park.
Oh, and there's the Battery Park where you would be able to gaze at Liberty and at the same time haggle for LVs that must have come from the Little Italian Village nearby. Not to mention that Battery Park is filled with different kinds of performers who struggle with one another to get your attention even at 10am of sunday morning.
And then, the many visitors of St. Paul's chapel beside Ground Zero that reminds you so much of what was taken out of that vicinity by a freakin terrorist act.
And finally there's the fabulous clubs in Manhattan area...to die for.
So, what's the concrete jungle made of...pretty much fab things and landmarks...and oh a subway system where you could probably get lost not just once but twice.

I love you and happy anniversary

It was one year ago when we both agreed to be start a journey together.
I remember two of my friends thought it was a bad idea because I hardly know you.
Yeah. I actually thought that to myself as well.
Thinking that we would only last for a few months...I disregarded it as mere new experience.
In between that unsure self of mine and that krooklyness of yours, something good happened...we managed to get along.

Of course...no relationship is ever smooth. We've had fights and trials but we have handled them privately and managed to stay together and perhaps understand each other better.

I wouldn't have the past 12 months any other way.

I believe that you are indeed a blessing to me more than being a soul to guide for me.

It would have been totally awesome if we were given a chance to meet here in US or in Canada even for a week...but because we have too much blessing already...guess fate will have it another way.

Still, it makes me happy to know that we have come this far and have proven that this relationship can still move forward despite the distance...that's a feat already in itself.

More than that....its your love for me that makes the past 12 months really filled with blessing. I love you and happy anniversary.

The Miserable Ones

After spending 2 hours watching Burlesque, I felt I was already miserable. The lack of interesting plotline and remarkable music has turned me wanting for a real musical treat for the night.

It was a good thing that I saw portions or Les Miserables 25th anniversary concert last sunday afternoon in one of the local channels, and it did grab my attention so I rented out the dvd.

Initially, I thought that I would be seeing the actual play captured in dvd, but the title mentioned that it was a concert and so, I knew that it wouldn't be the actual play itself but perhaps the music in it.

Alfie Boe (Jean Valjean) and Norm Lewis (Javert) battling it out on the opening act when Jean Valjean is about to be released in prison. Look down is hauntingly beautiful and as a song it captures perfectly an ex-convict's wanting of true freedom but is always tied up to their dark past. Alfie Boe is phenomenal in all his songs throughout the concert, but he remains unforgettable in his rendition of Bring Him Home. Indeed perfect to be the main the character that binds the whole story.
Jean Valjean was given by the bishop a chance to redeem his life before he broke his parole by stealing again.

Act II can be summarized in two words, Lea Salonga. She plays Fantine. On the past stage plays, she was Eponine singing On my own. This time she belts out I Dreamed a Dream and probably her best performance to date. Some even commented that it was better than the original by LuPone. Lea remains in perpect pitch throughout the belting of that song, not screechy for even a bit and face with changing emotions. Our miss saigon made Filipinos proud on that second act, captivating the whole 02 arena in London of people all over the world, something to be truly proud of.

Act III was about the war in France and the love story of Cosette and Marius with Marius' friend Eponine. I'm not totally sure of Nick Jonas and the one who played Cosette because she sounded pitchy in her solo, but Samantha Barks' (Eponine) rendition of On My Own reminds me of Lea's rendition in the past in a different tone and with better emotions.

Nick Jonas' best performance in that evening would have been his Epmty Chairs and Empty Tables. At this point, you would appreciate the quality of his voice and the emotion of losing all friends in the battle.

Then Alfie sings again Bring Him Home. This rendition is the heart of the entire concert. You will hear some of the other cast of the past productions sing this song in the encore part of the concert as a group. But for a solo, Alfie gives his best performance belting out this song.

Finally, he sings a trio with Fantine and Eponine in his death bed. At this point, it is impossible not to be touched by the music and the emotional renditions of the singers and by the message of redemption and freedom.

And for someone like me who had no idea of even a single page of the book of Hugo, and the immortal characters on it, I must say it indeed touched my soul. I'm actually trying to find an ebook of the literary piece to store in my kindle and get the taste of the real thing of this masterpiece.

Show me how you Burlesque?

I had a musical night last night.

I ran across the dvd rental and saw that Burlesque and Les Miserables were both available for rentals.

Considering it would be impossible for me to watch both of them in cinemas here, I took out my amex and rented them.

My first on the list was Burlesque. I remember hearing Cher on tv saying she can live without an Oscar because this musical film did not get any nomination even after it got a Globe.

I've never seen so many musicals of late, but I liked both Moulin Rouge and Chicago, and perhaps the local film Emir, and maybe some parts of that Indian movie that got best picture from the Oscars last year.

Burlesque turned out to be a story of a burlesque club in LA and the story of a girl who dreamt of performing onstage. Hohum, not the most original storyline is it, and the opening number for Aguillera had to be a pseudo dream sequence in a diner she was about to leave.

Then she finally makes it to LA and saw this Burlesque club downtown while looking for a job, gets inside the club and tries everything to get a job there even as a waitress waiting for her time to be a star. Clearly at the first 20 minutes of the film I figured out why Oscar snubbed it - there was nothing original or remarkable about the film. Even the music wasn't good enough. Remember Queen Latifah's act on Chicago? I swear, Cher's act in this film sounded like it!

Halfway of the film, Aguillera gets into the stage, after Cher gave her a chance to be part of the performers, tries to strut her butt onstage. Amidst this riveting (not!) development on stage, the bar is threatened to be closed for being bankrupt. Darn...the bar is to be closed out and Cher doesn't do anything at all except to avoid the people she is supposed to be talking to, to prevent it from being closed. Hahaha.

Then love stories here and there and its climax already with Aguillera trying to pull of a stunt of live singing when some b1tch cut off her music while onstage. Finally, everything is sorted out in the end with Aguillera getting her guy and Cher preventing the bar from closing because of Air rights? Huh?

That's it folks. Oh dear. No wonder it gets snubbed. Unoriginal. Nothing remarkable. No production number turned out to be special or well-thought of. And the music is so-so.

Cast performances - blah. Cher's acting wasn't really much of an acting. She did better in Mermaids. Aguillera...hmm..her voice..yeah...the part..maybe..but nothing really special, it was as if everything is really staged. Jennifer Hudson would have been more interesting on that role. The rest of the cast - forgettable.

Oh yeah, and the struggling songwriter guy finally finished his song and Aguillera gets to sing it...what do you know...the title "Show Me how you Burlesque"...and nothing really new to offer in the music industry nor to the entirety of the film.

It was a good thing I had Les Miserables dvd at hand.